In your scenario, a tool like Solarwinds SAM module, BMC Truesight or Microsoft SCOM, may do a better job, as they are made with the goal of monitoring of Infrastructure in mind. Splunk, as you yourself explained, doesn't seems to be the right choice for your requirement. If I was you, I'll be using the tools mentioned above, instead of Splunk.
Real time searches, as you explained, are causing issues with your cluster, and a scheduled alert/report requires a minimum of 1 minute of difference between the last and the current execution, even with a cron schedule. So, processing of your request to act within 30 seconds of the arrival of the event isn't possible without having a real time search running. Which is where using Splunk becomes pointless in your case.
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