This is a message printed out by apache hadoop because its binary distribution compiles libhadoop.so for 32-bit systems, while my system was 64. This is fine from hadoop's standpoint http://stackoverflow.com/questions/19943766/hadoop-unable-to-load-native-hadoop-library-for-your-platform-error-on-centos , however splunk treats this as a CRITICAL ERROR, so it has to be resolved to get hunk to work properly. The solution is to get the source distribution of apache hadoop, and recompile it yourself (which is a HUGE PAIN, the java build conventions are the worst).
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